Whoever coined the phrase “free as a bird” did a bit of a disservice to the noble rooster. While that term conjures up images of birds soaring through the sky without cares or any particular place to go, the rooster is back on the ground working for a living. Somebody has to wake up the barnyard, after all, and it’s not like you can depend on the cows or horses or, heaven forbid, the sheep to get up at the crack of dawn every day and sound the alarm. That type of responsibility demands the confident touch only a genuine rooster can provide.And don’t get us started on the supposed fringe benefits of those early mornings. The early bird may get the worm, but that’s cold comfort when you happen to be the kind of bird who prefers grains and bugs. Sure, the odd worm here and there is a fine change of pace, but it’s hardly something worth getting up early for. No, the rooster performs his daily task out of a sense of duty to his community, the satisfaction of a job well done, and the chance to gaze out on those sweet, sweet sunrises. (Also because he has a biological imperative that’s tied to the Earth’s rotation. But mostly those other things we mentioned.)Demonstrate your kinship with the early risers of the bird world by donning this fluffy, full-body polyester jumpsuit complete with red-and-white-striped socks, orange polyfoam chicken-foot shoe covers, and, of course, a lifelike latex rooster mask covered in white faux fur. It’s sure to put you at the top of the pecking order in any barnyard you choose, and you won’t even have to get up early to do it.