New toys are too fancy. Nowadays, kids have toys that light up, or toys that make noises, talk to you, or even walk around. Heck, kids even have toys that live inside the computer (would you believe a thing like that?). And don’t even get us started on kids and their phones, always right in front of their faces. Back in our day, toys were simple! You got a doll and that doll had a red mop of hair and an apron and you played with that doll and you were happy! We didn’t have all this mamby pamby talking electronic nonsense. And if you wanted your toy to light up, you know what you did? You set it on fire! That’s the only way our toys had lights. It was a simpler time. Our toys had meaning.So now you can relieve that simpler time too! How? By denying your children any light up toys or talking toys or newfangled robot toys taking jobs from hardworking wooden and cotton dolls! Instead, force them to wear this costume! Yes, this will communicate what it was really like “back in the day”. If your child wants to have fun, they’ll have to find that fun in a red wig and an apron. That will teach them to appreciate all the stuff you’ve given them, and their Snaptalk or whatever other “app” they’re using these days. This costume also has the benefit of making your kid look adorable, if you’re into that and not just teaching them a lesson, but it’s probably for teaching them a lesson first, right?